Itโs nearly 7 p.m. by the time I leave the hospital. I try not to think about the fact that Iโve spent 13 straight hours at the hospital, and focus more on which spectacular TV dinner Iโm going to eat when I get back to my room. I also fantasize a lot about my bed.
Back in my suite, I shove a package of frozen fettuccine alfredo into the microwave then hit the bathroom to wash the hospital off my hands. Except before I make it into the bathroom, I find something taped to the bathroom door. Itโs five pages long and Iโm pretty sure itโs from Julia. I rip it off the wall.
The first page is a schedule of when each of us has to clean the bathroom. Okay, fair enough. It says: JaneโTuesdays and Saturdays, JuliaโThursdays and Sundays. And then a list of major holidays and who will be cleaning the bathroom during each of these holidays. Soโฆ does this mean weโre cleaning the bathroomย four times a week? Is she kidding me? Itโs a tiny bathroom and the only people who use it are the two of us. How does it require such frequent cleaning? And when exactly am I supposed to do this cleaning, considering I practically live in the hospital?
The next three pages are detailed instructions on how to clean the bathroom.
The final page is a photocopy of the receipt from a local drug store for cleaning supplies. She spent $89.34 on bathroom cleaning supplies. Why do we need โbleach foamerโ? And why are all our cleaning supplies โorganicโ? Itโs not like weโre going toย eatย them.
At the bottom of the receipt, Julia has written my share: $44.67. Thatโs seriously more than my food budget for the month. She hasย gotย to be kidding me. I make minimum wage. (Although admittedly, minimum wage is somewhat lucrative when youโre working like a billion hours a week.)
I am not paying for her stupid organic cleaning supplies. No way.
No way in hell.
Oh, who am I fooling? I am definitely going to end up paying her.
At some point, I start watching television in my bedroom and drift off. What ends up waking me is a pounding noise at the door to the suite. Rubbing my eyes, I stumble in the direction of the door and fling it open without even asking who it is. As soon as I see whoโs standing there, my eyes fly open and Iโm instantly awake.
Itโs Sexy Surgeon.
โHey,โ he says. Heโs wearing his scrubs, which I think is the only outfit Iโve ever seen him in. Lucky thing he looks so good in them. He squints at my face. โDid I wake you up?โ
โA little,โ I admit.
It occurs to me at that moment that Julia is going to throw a fit if she realizes heโs at the door. The fact that sheโs not complaining at this very moment is evidence that sheโs not here. But sheโs probably got hidden cameras installed somewhere. Or at the very least, a spy situated in the hallway. Maybe thereโs a sniper out here, whoโs ready to pick Ryan off at any second.
I grab his arm. โGet in here, quick,โ I say.
He looks at me in surprise, but follows me inside. I donโt let go of his arm until weโre safely inside my bedroom with the door shut.
โOkay,โ I say, letting out a breath. โWeโre safe.โ
Ryan raises his eyebrows. โWe werenโt safe out there?โ
โMy roommate,โ I explain, waving my finger in a circle to demonstrate Juliaโs loony behavior.
โGotcha,โ Ryan says. He grins at me. โNice room.โ โThanks.โ
โI like the skeleton,โ he says. โThanks.โ
He grins wider. โHeโs not going to get jealous and start haunting me, is he?โ
I roll my eyes. โNo.โ
โBecause I know intern year can get pretty lonely so I wouldnโt blame you if you and Skelly over thereโฆ well, you knowโฆโ He winks.
I put my hands on my hips. โDid you come here to make fun of me?โ
That wipes the smile off his face. โNo,โ he says. โI didnโt.โ
He bridges the two-foot gap between him and me. He lowers his lips onto mine, and now weโre kissing, and there are no pagers to go off, elevator doors to open, or anything to keep this from happening. We fall onto my bed and he gently pushes me down against the pillows, then climbs on top of me.
โYouโre so sexy, Jane,โ he breathes in my ear. And I almost believe him.
At first, Iโm scared this is going to go further than I want it to (I just met him a week ago!), but heโs actually very respectful.
Surprisinglyย respectful.
What he does with his lips on mine is very intense, but he doesnโt make any move to push me further than that. His hands move up and down my chest and my thighs, but he doesnโt try to get up my shirt or down my pants. His lips stay mostly on mine, although they make little excursions to my earlobes and that extra-sensitive area at the base of my neck.
We make out like the ship is going down, like we canโt get enough of each other, but after an hour or so, the kisses become less hungry and more gentle, and weโre cuddling more than kissing. I wouldnโt have taken Sexy Surgeon for a cuddler. He just seems too busy. But itโs nice to lie in his arms like we have all the time in the world, feeling the warmth and comfort of his body against mine. I could lie here forever.
โIโve got to go,โ he says, as if on cue. โNow?โ
โIโm on call, actually,โ he says. He fishes into his pocket and retrieves his pager, which heโs apparently been concealing from me.
I stare at him. โSeriously?โ
He shrugs. โIโve got an intern. Heโs handling most of it. But I told him Iโd meet him in the ER…โ He checks his watch. โAbout fifteen minutes ago.โ
โSeriously?โ
He shrugs again. โLet him wait. Heโs just an intern.โ โThanks a lot.โ
Ryan grins, then he pulls away from me and adjusts the drawstring on his scrubs. โIโm going to hit the bathroom, then Iโll leave.โ
My breath catches in my throat. โNo! You canโt.โ โI canโt leave?โ
โNo, I mean, you canโt use the bathroom.โ Ryan stares at me like Iโve lost my mind.
I blush. โMy roommate is super weird about the bathroom. Canโt you just use it at the hospital?โ
He rolls his eyes. โCome on, Jane. Just let me go pee.โ
Iโd like to let himโI really would. But the consequences of that could be dire. I show him Juliaโs Bathroom Manifesto. โLook what she put on the door!โ
He takes the pages from me, and laughs as he flips through. โWhoa, you werenโt kidding. Sheโs nuts.โ
โSee?โ
โIโm still going to use the bathroom,โ he says, cutting off my protests with a kiss. โWeโre going to live dangerously for a change.โ
Our compromise is that he goes to the bathroom while I stand guard outside. He insists Iโm just as crazy as Julia, but he hasnโt seen the evil glint in her eyes. If Iโm going to be sharing an apartment with her, I need to protect myself.