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Chapter no 10

Never Lie

This is session #2 with PL, a 25-year-old female who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident.

โ€œHi, Dr. Hale.โ€

โ€œYou look pale today. Pleaseโ€ฆ sit down.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m okay. I justโ€ฆ I havenโ€™t been sleeping well.โ€

โ€œYou mentioned the nightmares during your first visit.โ€

โ€œYes. Like Iโ€™m reliving it. Like itโ€™s happening all over again.โ€

โ€œI know you had a lot of trouble talking about it at your first visit, but if you feel more comfortable with me this time, it would help me so much to hear what happened that night in your own words.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s so hard to talk about it. Itโ€™s easier to talk aboutโ€ฆ other things.โ€

โ€œBut Iโ€™m here to help you. I canโ€™t help you if I donโ€™t know what you went through.โ€

โ€œYes. Yes, I understand, butโ€ฆโ€

โ€œPlease try. You can take your time. Weโ€™ve got the entire session ahead of us.โ€

โ€œIt was justโ€ฆ it was the worst night of my life, Dr. Hale. I lost everything.โ€

โ€œJust start from the beginning.โ€

โ€œWell, Iโ€ฆ I mean,ย weโ€ฆ we rented the cabin for the weekend, and we were so looking forward to it. We were having such a good time, even though it ended up raining all weekend. We hung out, roasted marshmallows in the fireplaceโ€ฆโ€

โ€œAnd thenโ€ฆ?โ€

โ€œIt happened after Cody and I had already gone to sleep. Megan and Alexis had gone off to their own rooms. I was sound asleepโ€ฆ the fresh air always makes me so tired, and we had a few drinksโ€ฆ And then I woke up to screamingโ€ฆโ€

โ€œYesโ€ฆ?โ€

โ€œIt was Cody. He was screaming next to me in bed, andโ€ฆ and there was blood all over his chest. I woke up and a man was standing over him, holding a knife. It was hard to see because it was raining out and the sky was so darkโ€ฆ I couldnโ€™t make out his face, but I could see his wet hair plastered to his skull. And I couldย smellย him. He had that wet dog smell, but also something else. Something rotten.โ€

โ€œThat sounds terrible.โ€

โ€œI wake up sometimes during the night and I still smell it. I smell it everywhere in my room. That awful, rotten smellโ€ฆ oh Godโ€ฆโ€

โ€œItโ€™s okay. Itโ€™s okay to cry. This is a safe space.โ€ โ€œI justโ€ฆ I canโ€™tโ€ฆโ€

โ€œPlease take a tissue.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not fair! Cody and I were supposed to get married next week. We were going on our honeymoon to Bermuda. I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with him, and nowโ€ฆ now heโ€™s buried in a coffin under the ground. Whenever I think about itโ€ฆโ€

โ€œItโ€™s okay. Itโ€™s going to be okay.โ€

โ€œHow?ย Howย is it going to be okay, Dr. Hale? The man I was going to marry isย dead. My two best friends areย dead. My mother always used to say, if there was a nut job within fifty miles, they would find me. And that night, he found me. Iโ€™ve got a scar on my belly to remember him by forever.โ€

โ€œIt wasnโ€™t your fault though.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not fair that theyโ€™re all gone, and Iโ€™m still here. I should be dead too.โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t say that.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s true, Dr. Hale. Thatโ€™s what the doctor told me at the hospital. I could have died.โ€

โ€œBut you didnโ€™t. You survived. Youโ€™re a survivor. You could have bled to death in that cabin, but you ran through the rain and mud and you flagged down a car to help you. Thatโ€™s why youโ€™re alive.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t feel like a survivor. I feel likeโ€ฆ like a mess. I canโ€™t sleep. I canโ€™t even hold down a job.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s what youโ€™re here for. To get better. This is just the beginning.โ€

โ€œIf they had caught him, I could move on. But every time I close my eyes, I imagine heโ€™s at my window. Watching me sleep.โ€

โ€œThe key word is โ€˜imagine.โ€™ Heโ€™s not really there.โ€

โ€œYou donโ€™t know that! After all, Iโ€™m the only one who can identify him. Iโ€™m sure he wants me dead.โ€

โ€œYou canโ€™t think that way. Youโ€™re safe now. If he were going to find you, he wouldโ€™ve done it already. This is an impulsive man.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m going to lose my mind, Dr. Hale. Itโ€™s all I can think about. Every time I get into my car, I feel like heโ€™s following me. As I was driving here, I was sure he was in the car behind me.โ€

โ€œBut you know thatโ€™s all in your head.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know that. You donโ€™t know that. For all you know, heย didย follow me here. Maybe heโ€™s waiting outside right now. Maybe the second I open the door to your house, heโ€™s going to kill us both.โ€

โ€œDo you know how unlikely that is?โ€ โ€œIโ€ฆโ€

โ€œListen to me. You cannot let this psychopath control your life. You are here to get better. Your family cares about you and thatโ€™s why they sent you here.โ€

โ€œBut Iโ€™m not getting better.โ€

โ€œThis is just the beginning. Youโ€™re going to get better.โ€ โ€œDr. Haleโ€ฆโ€

โ€œI promise you. You will get better.

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